Comrade Yahudi and the Gang at Star Gate HQ
The Vadyan Clique presents:
Comrade Yehudi and the Gang at Star Gate HQ
Archie LaVey: There is no Satan, meathead!
Aqunio Michnik: But He spoke to me!
Archie LaVey: Oy vey iz mir. My meathead goy son-in-law.
Commissar: It was a clear case of discrimination. Institutional
Angelism was practiced against Satan - and so he lead the First combined Angels'
and People's rebellion and made for himself a nation. It's called the the Ud.
Rege talk for Earph, er, Earth.
Jesus: Yo, I hear ya Commie Mommie, but the problem is that y'all
got too dictatorial, meanwhile Big Daddy got more liberal and here I came to
Casey Mouth: Blech, pure vomit. That's why Big Mommy got Lylyth
going strong and she lives in Feminism today. You DO realize she divorded Gawd,
right? Got the Andromeda Galaxy in the alimony suit. It's all part of herstory.
Commissar: Well then, Lylyth should unite in the People's Revolution
Hot to Trotsky: Lylyth is in favor of helping the worthless peasants
instead of focusing on the industrialized working classes.
Commissar: Fuck off Trot, you counter revolutionary shithead.
You want to divide up the Sat-Intern!
Jesus: Oh, I second that....
Please continue..... the notes to the rest of the meeting got
destroyed by Gerber in a fit of anti-goy zealoutry.
Joey Johnson: I SAVE IT! I SAVE IT! OM YAMANTAKA HUM PHAT!! OM
YAMANTAKA HUM PHAT!!
Commissar: Oh oh, grandpaw's here. Here comes trouble.
Jesus: Yo man, the Sanatana Dharma is here - I think I'll leave
out before he transforms us all into......AAAAAAAA------
Haysus: -----AAAAAAAAH! Ole carumba, I feel the musseek coming
and see dee pretty senoritas.
Commissar: Stop it grandpaw, no, no - oh see that, man? NOT FAIR!
My pony tail is transforming into a large 5 folded petal, no no, NOT THAT, come
on grandpaw, it's the Trot's fault, not mine. NOoooooo.
Haysus: Ole carumba Comeesaria, choo body ees chanching eento
a whirling theeng weet thorns like Tasmanian Devil! Madre Dios!
Metahumongous: I like it, it's BIG. How many terabytes is that?
Casey Mouth: Go go Commie, I love it, change, change! Let's kick
some ass. Become the Kaliphyl, do it, let it rip.
Hot to Trotsky: Huh? What's happening?
Half-Commissar: HELP! I'm becoming, oh my gawd, THE ROSE! Aaaah!
Brendan Devil: That's right, girl, that's right.
Hot to Trotsky: Oh shit. No way. First there was Stalin. Now this?
Aquino Michnik: I told you Archie LaVey; I told you - HE IS REAL!
Now, that's some ....... hey, wait, I'm not a Trotskyite!
Demon Child: Hey Kaliphyl, lay off Comrade Michnik, he fought
for the Sat-Intern; he's a hero.
Archie LaVey: That Thing is the foundation of Satanism. Yes it
is. Yes it is. Excuse me, I have to leave now. Please, please excuse me, I really
have to go.
Brendan Devil: Oh no you don't. Get back here, Archie.
Kaliphyl The Rose: stomp stomp stomp -- whirl whirl whirl -- DUH!
Casey the Mouth: Yes, I love it. Follow me! Bwhahahaha.
Gerber: Oh. That's really really big. Is it Jewish? Nevermind.
Is it friendly?
Kaliphyl The Rose: ARRRRGH!! Aquino Michnik, get the gender right.
You see these petals, boy?
Casey Mouth: Oh, now we're gonna win the revolution.
Minister of the Sinister: Huh? Did you say something? Sorry, I
was writing something for Lylyth's group based on an essay I wrote at Wassa
Aquino Michnik: A scholarly essay?
Minister of the Sinister: Yes, very scholarly. The first course
I took was Comparative Religion. My verbal term paper on "The Origins of the
Devil in Judaism and Christianity" did not go over very well. My paper got a
Big Red F.
Aquino Michnik: It was probably ignorant, scholarly bias on the
part of ivory tower, educated idiots.
Brendan Devil: Yeah, I dig it. What was the essay?
Minister of the Sinister: I argued that after dictating "The Shaitanic
Bible" to Archie LaVey, Dr. Wherever used his time machine to go back to ancient
Judiah and used his magical and technological powers to scare the natives into
Kaliphyl The Rose: But that's the TROOPH, that's the TROOPH.
Gerber: I'd normally argue that, however...... mmm, mmmm. Is that
Minister of the Sinister: My instructor gave me a second chance,
though, so I used the texts of witchcraft papers to argue another angle.
Almost All: Yeah? OH, tell us, please!
Minister of the Sinister: You see, in the early modern period,
Satan appeared as an animal. Sometimes a goat, sometimes a frog, sometimes a
cat or an owl... but most of the time he appeared as a cock.
Casey Mouth: Nah, it was a Female Thing, trust me.
Minister of the Sinister: Right. The people thought it was a cock,
because they were in the patriarcal mode, and thought Satan to be male. Actually,
it was a hen. What I argued was that while Set was a donkey, his wife Nephthys
was in fact a Chicken-Heaced Goddess, who was refered to as Set's Hen! Set's
hen.... Satan! The whole Lylyth/Satan thing that created the diabolic figure
in Judiasm was the Chicken Goddess Nephthys!
Aquino Michnik: Rubbish!
Comrade Yehudi: Hey guys, what's up, sorry I took so long. I got
the Kentucky Fried Chicken for. uh, OY VEY! What the be-JodHeVavHe is that?
Casey Mouth: Oh, Kaliphyl the Rose. Don't worry about it.
Gerber: But is that Thing Jewish?
Minister of the Sinister: It's not rubbish. I further produced
prooph by showing that "the Colonel" was the founder and figurehead of Kentuky
Fried Chicken, while "the Lt. COLONEL" was the founder and figurehead of the
Temple of Set.
Aquino Michnik: Do you mean to insult me, sir? I'm leaving. OH,
um, well - I'll wait till that Thing is gone.
Minister of the Sinister: I can't believe my idiotic professor
failed me. Asshole. May he be boiled in flaming mint oil.
Brendan Devil: That has to the shittiest essay I ever heard of.
Minister of the Sinister: Thing? What Thing? OH! What's that Thing?
Kaliphyl The Rose: stomp stomp stomp -- whirl whirl whirl -- KICK
ASS! KICK ASS! KICK ASS!
Casey Mouth: Let's call the System Lords. Aquino Michnik? That's
Aquino Michnik: Dialing, dialing, dialing. WHOOOOOOSHHHHHH.
Gerber: Um, that's the wrong number.
Archie LaVey: Joey, can't you do something about, you know - THAT?
Joey Johnson: OM MATRI MUYE SALI DU! Back! Back! OM MATRI MUYE
Heysus: Madri Dios, ----
Jesus: ----er, MOFO, cut that sheeiat. Done messupp ma threads,
mess up ma act. Now I gotta get situated again.
Commissar: GOD DAMMIT! Gimme my fuckin tinfoil KGB cap back.
Commissar: Ah, back to normal.
Gerber: Uh, Aquino Michnik? Um, that was the wrong number.
Minister of the Sinister: Is that Apophis with those glowing eyes?
Casey Mouth: That's a great outfit! Old Egyptian, right? Hey,
don't point that at me.
Aquino Michnik: I don't know, but it sure the hell is not Set.
Let's GET OUTA HERE.
Archie LaVey: I wanted to leave way before this. That is not the
foundation of Satanism.
Brendan Devil: Oh no you don't, Archie.
Gerber: I told you it was the wrong number.
Apophis System Lord: Bow before me, slaves.
Commissar: Ah shaddap you kulak. Get to the Lubyanka, you are
Defcon Radu: Did you calls me? WOAH - you wants me drag THAT to
Lubyanka? It has big ray gun.
Casey Mouth: Quick, dial that other number up, hurry up.
Joey Johnson: You want another magic mantra chant, please?
Archie LaVey: That would be a good idea.
All Others: NO!!!!!!
Casey Mouth: Aquino Michnik, dial up the Andromeda Galaxy, quick!
Aquino Michnik: Ok, hold on. Lylyth? You sure?
Defcon Radu: How about I dials? OK, I dials.
Minister of the Sinister: Defcon, you are dialing a Gate into
a Black Hole.
All: OH SHIT! We ain't gonna have TIME to leave this place.
Gerber: Adonai, Adonai, Elohim, Elohim......
Commissar: Damn, there goes my brand new tinfoil KGB cap. Sucked
Brendan Devil: Girl, you keep losing those caps.
Jesus: Yo, things ain't never been the same since Big Daddy was
Hot to Trotsky: Now this is definitely worse than Stalin.
Apophis System Lord: Stupid slaves, we'll all be killed by the
pull of the Black Hole; the Gate can't be closed. Stupid Slaves.
Archie LaVey: That must be the Dork Farce.
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